I had a brainwave (or brainfart, depending on your point of view )
THere might be another interesting angle to persue: the (old) girlfriend of Garr. If the timeline is to be restored, they either need not to meet, Garr needs to die after Specter (which makes it impossible for him to help his younger self, however), or his girlfriend needs to be changed/compromised somehow. Might be interesting storytwist to find out that his girlfriend somehow fits in to all of this; that she is a 'bad-girl', and when Garr finds out that she influenced him in more than one way (and not for the better). It might give a believable way to change things back to the way it is supposed to be, and make Garr less of a badguy, or at least choose to do 1 good dead before his time or the story ends.
Somehow i dont see the black hole device stopping another singularity. If you would ask me, that would be like placing a weaponscontainter in a forrest fire (-> Big Boom).
On some sidenotes to the current story: Unless you have one hell of a weapon in the Fitzgerald, 1 ship against a station is going to be similar like a brick against a battle tank. Even with shields off, 1 ship against a station is still not an easy case.
Basically in startrek: when friendlies attack a station, it falls with general ease. When enemies attack a friendly station, it requires a fleet. If you want the Fitzgerald to destroy that station, i think it wise to have a believable way to do so. One suggestion i came up with: that modification to allow the cloaking ship to go undetected fails at a certain moment (not a cliche moment, but just a random event happening at some point in the mission), allowing for a cat and mouse game with a few persueing vessels. When the station is reached, a heavy battle ensues with the Fitzgerald and the romulan ships. Using good tactics (to be determined) 1 or more ships impact the station, momentarily disrupting the shields, allowing for something to disable the station/certain systems; or at least give it a bloody nose. If the Fitzgerald can use that to make it visible to the romulans that they have been betrayed/used by Garr, then they might summon a fleet to destroy the station (allowing for the exploding station, the escape, and possible saving of the peace )
@tnpir: Ok with this scene I take back what I said earlier about doing sneaky things wasn't in Reyf's character. It seems he's up to more than I thought. I didn't read the second spoiler, but I have a feeling that Garr was behind the destruction of the star that destroyed Romulus, with use of the ISS Voyager (which survived the destruction an the end of Spector), and he planted a sort of camera in space to frame the Federation. He then took that footage to the Romulans to trick them into unifying and preparing to invade the Federation, but that's my thinking.
Second, enough people have raised the specter of the "missing" scene between Prentice ordering Mitchell to get the cloaking device and the scene in Ten Forward that I've gone ahead and made the scene, including a shot of the Fitzgerald cloaking. I'm putting together a new omnibus clip with everything thrown together, and that should be up sometime today.
To those who want to know about the visual effect of the cloak engaging:
The hull begins to shimmer green-blue (a lot like how the 1701-D decloaked in "All Good Things..."), then starts to blur until it disappears. It's simple but effective.
I just watched the 'scene 9', very nice! Do you have any feedback to the suggestions given here? Or more detailed story points to come up with more ideas?
@ThyKing: I've been busy with Scene 9 the last few days so I haven't had a chance to really digest the ideas that are here, I did read them though! Now that Scene 9 is done, I'm going to sit down and start hammering things out, probably tomorrow.
Is this all the preview clips to make up the first half hr, or have you gone bk and re rendered?
*edit*
never mind, I just watched it lol
The plot with the cloaking device definitely plays much better with the extra scenes you have added, and also with your " Captain's log" its always a great way to pass time.
Your cloaking effect is pretty cool, I think you might need to make the green a bit more greener maybe, looks a bit mint green at the moment lol , also I think you should probably slow it down, usually any ship that is cloaking or de-cloaking take around 5 seconds roughly, if you add in a shimmering effect that would make it look better too
You're throwaway line " What do you make of this number one" makes me think back to the Intro for A Final Unity, since Picard said the same thing lol
For your scene with Reyf in ten forward, do you think you should add some people in the background shots to make it seem more lively.
It seems strange to me that on a Galaxy Class starship with a crew of roughly 1000 people, that Ten Forward would be deserted at times, Even on TNG, you would figure it would always be busy
Using good tactics (to be determined) 1 or more ships impact the station, momentarily disrupting the shields, allowing for something to disable the station/certain systems; or at least give it a bloody nose. If the Fitzgerald can use that to make it visible to the romulans that they have been betrayed/used by Garr, then they might summon a fleet to destroy the station (allowing for the exploding station, the escape, and possible saving of the peace )
Maybe a highlly dammaged ship (like one small Defiant) could do a kamikaze manouver in her last move, sometthing similar to what the Kelvin did over the Narada. It would make the the systems of the station to fail.
I'd love to see that. One last "harry carry" before watching Garr yank out what's left of his hair as his personal outpost goes "boom!" But, in the end, it wouldn't require that much effort....one or two pissed-off klingon/romulan b.o.p.'s would do the trick. A volley of full-on disruptors from all sides a-la Prometheus MVAM...bye bye Garr!!! Unless he has some kind of Iconian doorway tech aboard, to escape his own private worst case scenario.
I have an idea. The Romulan fleet arrives, and all seems like Garr will be defeated, but then the Romulan fleet gets owned. I doubt Garr wouldn't anticipate the Romulans turning against him, so he would have some sort of backup plan.. And the Fitzgerald (burning and falling apart) preforms the kamikaze move against the station. Something happens and the timeline is restored and we witness Reyf aboard the Fitzgerald, back when he was captain. Insert some dialogue or something. Then "The End".
Your right to an opinion does not make your opinion valid.
I've already got the "climax and timeline is restored" part worked out guys, you needn't worry about that This is what you can work with:
The Rimward station is destroyed in an attack, either by the Fitzgerald or by the Romulans following an Accidental/Engineered Public Confession, but just when you think everything's over the ISS Voyager emerges from the fireball and makes a run for the Beta Reticuli system, the site of that massive tear we last saw in Specter. Starfleet's been looking at what to do about it, but despite the presence of two long-term science teams, they're still not quite sure how to collapse it. On arrival Voyager sends out an energy pulse that stabilizes it into a portal. No one understands how it works, but the science ships send out similar energy pulses destabilize the phenomenon again just as Voyager goes in. Cue bright flash, and the next thing we know the anomaly is gone and our prime timeline is restored.
I've already got the "climax and timeline is restored" part worked out guys, you needn't worry about that This is what you can work with:
The Rimward station is destroyed in an attack, either by the Fitzgerald or by the Romulans following an Accidental/Engineered Public Confession, but just when you think everything's over the ISS Voyager emerges from the fireball and makes a run for the Beta Reticuli system, the site of that massive tear we last saw in Specter. Starfleet's been looking at what to do about it, but despite the presence of two long-term science teams, they're still not quite sure how to collapse it. On arrival Voyager sends out an energy pulse that stabilizes it into a portal. No one understands how it works, but the science ships send out similar energy pulses destabilize the phenomenon again just as Voyager goes in. Cue bright flash, and the next thing we know the anomaly is gone and our prime timeline is restored.
Truth be told, you can do better than that. Unless your making two random science teams the heroes of the day lol
Your right to an opinion does not make your opinion valid.
@oldmangreg: imagine my relief to have your support If you have a better idea, I'm listening--but the Fitzgerald making a kamikaze run against Rimward Station is simply out of the question as too similar to "Year of Hell" (Hell will freeze over before I do one of those damned "reset button" stories).
Actually, the solution is simple--Starfleet left two research probes behind, the Fitzgerald crew can simply operate them by remote control. Simple. (Remember, they're several light-minutes behind the ISS Voyager here because it's a chase scene, so there has to be something they can use to affect the tear.)
@oldmangreg: imagine my relief to have your support If you have a better idea, I'm listening--but the Fitzgerald making a kamikaze run against Rimward Station is simply out of the question as too similar to "Year of Hell" (Hell will freeze over before I do one of those damned "reset button" stories).
ROFL over here. Blame the writer in me, wanting to make the scene a bit more dramatic. The two science teams saving the day would be funny though, with the crowds celebrating them and erecting statues. Maybe as a sort of alternate joke ending
If you want to include a personal solution to the story, you could have the admiral beam over to Garr's ship, include a skirmish between the two and then the admiral (who has been acting strangely since the beginning) beam whatever he had on the Fitzgerald over to the ISS Voyager, which turns out to be some device made to close the tear and restore the timeline. The only con is that the ISS Voyager has to be in the rift, killing anyone aboard and destroying the ship. Of course Prentince (pretty sure I spelt that wrong) won't like that, but he allows the admiral to do it anyways. Sort of like some ultimate sacrifice kind of thing, but it's okay since the admiral knows he'll actually be alive, although things will be different. This would be eaiser if I could see what you got for the ending, but fish sticks will be in the oven.
-Edit-
Of course you never did explain the Borg enhancments thing from the first one, so you could put something in there.
Your right to an opinion does not make your opinion valid.
For Garr's ship to get ahead start, and to stop the Fitz gaining ground, you could have that the fitz damaged in some way. If there is going to be an epic space battle, the ship should take a proper pounding, its not invincible. For example in the battle, the engineering section takes a pretty bad hit, The warp core is badly damaged, not to the point where it will breech but its pretty fragile, If they have to chase after Voyager, the faster and harder they push the warp engines to catch up, the more unstable the core becomes.
- In my head it seems like a pretty cool image, Think the excelsior at the end of St VI, pushing the engines hard, the ship is shaking and buckling "flying apart" lol, It would add some great tension
I think oldmangreg's idea is pretty cool, It would almost be a three act scene
- Voyager racing to get to the rift, Fitz giving chase
- Reyf, somehow, aboard Voyager trying to stop Garr. A skirmish of some sort
- Science probs near the rift are recording changes in the rift AND whatever Voyager is doing AND beaming the information back to the Fitz, so they are running out of time as to what Garr is up to and how to stop it
Now think of all that, happening at the same time.. and picture the music in a sort of ' Genesis Countdown ' style.
Great dramatic scene
Tough one. Lets not make the classic movie mistake that all of a sudden, someway, the hero of the day knows how to shut the anomaly down, whyle 10 bilion scientists have no clue.
I like the idea of a sort of show-off, but make it more advanced this time. The fitz and/or section 31/starfleet super scientists have figured out that they are in an alternate timeline and want to restore it (primary time directive?). When Garr runns, the voyager is not running for the Beta Reticuli (BR) system, but just in the general direction (he is really fleeing), perhaps towards an old secret facility. Lets say the people on the fitz, and (probably) section 31/starfleet secret projects have been investigating Garrs means of timetravel for 10 years now, and have theorized and tested some aspects of it (but helas, no sigar, they have not been able to duplicate it). Enough to form a theory what could be needed to either destabilize or even reverse the effect (being one part of Reyf's secret), and restore the timeline. However, to do that, they NEED the voyager. So, Reyf en Prentice (if i spelled that right ) come up with a 2 prong plan: A show-off between Reyf and Garr (insert cliche line: "Garr is mine", or "leave Garr to me", or "Garr is my fight"), where they fight some, speak some, etc; and a second infiltration team (queue secret (borg?) technology to get on board) to as quick as possible affect some changes to the voyagers time-drive. This will, when the time drive is activated, either destabilize or reverse (slowly?) the singularity.
Then, to add insult to injury, the ship's computer is reprogrammed, using some secret programming (and perhaps that ships-remote acces code that Kirk used to gain control), to alter the voyagers course and lock it (even for Garr), along with an auto-activate. When the mission is complete, Reyf, being ever so nice, gives Garr the chance to back down, and surrender. They then run though the ship to the shuttlebay, since the voyager has too big a lead, and activate some carefully prepared traps to slow Garr down (he said 'no'). You know, the starfleet equivallent of claymores, and such. They use a shuttle to escape, while Garr tries to do its best to make the timejump successfull (enter clifhanger ). Then they arrive at BR, and the voyager enters the anomaly, does what it is set to, and then: a: it all dissapears, and timeline is restored; b: anomaly is slowly reversed; c: enter other posibility. You could make it that Garr might have found a way to timejump, despite the instability, or is just dead.
addition: The reason i made the voyager not running towards the BR, is that garr has the time-drive abboard this ship, so he does not need the anomaly to do anything. And since the anomaly was created using an earlier version of Garrs time drive, it can be used to reverse the effect. If Garr is just running in the general direction, it might add a cherry to the cake, allowing the fitz to both shut Garr down, and the anomaly in one go.
Maybe you could add stabilized omega molecules to the mix; since voyager did have that technology, but that is very very very very very very very risky to use on a ship which possible explodes. Might be a good weapon against an attacking fleet though..
Tough one. Lets not make the classic movie mistake that all of a sudden, someway, the hero of the day knows how to shut the anomaly down, whyle 10 bilion scientists have no clue.
I like the idea of a sort of show-off, but make it more advanced this time. The fitz and/or section 31/starfleet super scientists have figured out that they are in an alternate timeline and want to restore it (primary time directive?). When Garr runns, the voyager is not running for the Beta Reticuli (BR) system, but just in the general direction (he is really fleeing), perhaps towards an old secret facility. Lets say the people on the fitz, and (probably) section 31/starfleet secret projects have been investigating Garrs means of timetravel for 10 years now, and have theorized and tested some aspects of it (but helas, no sigar, they have not been able to duplicate it). Enough to form a theory what could be needed to either destabilize or even reverse the effect (being one part of Reyf's secret), and restore the timeline. However, to do that, they NEED the voyager. So, Reyf en Prentice (if i spelled that right ) come up with a 2 prong plan: A show-off between Reyf and Garr (insert cliche line: "Garr is mine", or "leave Garr to me", or "Garr is my fight"), where they fight some, speak some, etc; and a second infiltration team (queue secret (borg?) technology to get on board) to as quick as possible affect some changes to the voyagers time-drive. This will, when the time drive is activated, either destabilize or reverse (slowly?) the singularity.
Then, to add insult to injury, the ship's computer is reprogrammed, using some secret programming (and perhaps that ships-remote acces code that Kirk used to gain control), to alter the voyagers course and lock it (even for Garr), along with an auto-activate. When the mission is complete, Reyf, being ever so nice, gives Garr the chance to back down, and surrender. They then run though the ship to the shuttlebay, since the voyager has too big a lead, and activate some carefully prepared traps to slow Garr down (he said 'no'). You know, the starfleet equivallent of claymores, and such. They use a shuttle to escape, while Garr tries to do its best to make the timejump successfull (enter clifhanger ). Then they arrive at BR, and the voyager enters the anomaly, does what it is set to, and then: a: it all dissapears, and timeline is restored; b: anomaly is slowly reversed; c: enter other posibility. You could make it that Garr might have found a way to timejump, despite the instability, or is just dead.
addition: The reason i made the voyager not running towards the BR, is that garr has the time-drive abboard this ship, so he does not need the anomaly to do anything. And since the anomaly was created using an earlier version of Garrs time drive, it can be used to reverse the effect. If Garr is just running in the general direction, it might add a cherry to the cake, allowing the fitz to both shut Garr down, and the anomaly in one go.
Maybe you could add stabilized omega molecules to the mix; since voyager did have that technology, but that is very very very very very very very risky to use on a ship which possible explodes. Might be a good weapon against an attacking fleet though..
It wouldn't be a mistake, since Reyf acting all weird since the beginning. There's a chance he could of worked with good Garr, but did not know it or did not show it. Adding section 31 this late in the game seems rather dumb though. If they were mentioned throughout the movie then maybe. A team of scientists, maybe led by good Garr, probably know how to close the tear, and they are sitting next to the tear, setting up the plan to close the tear. Maybe when the station explodes, the tear is a pre-programmed destination, so evil Garr can make a time/space/etc jump if necessary, since before he needed a singularity to do it in the first place. He got "lucky" when the Fitzgerald shot his ship and he was thrown back in time. Although, since the Borg have done time travel, and the ISS Voyager has Borg tech, that would mean he wouldn't need a singularity.
I don't think Reyf would ask Garr to back down, since he already knows the answer to that. Still need a reason why Garr got his hands on Borg tech.
Of course a plot twist can be put in: Evil Garr that we saw aboard the Fitzgerald was a hologram, because Evil Garr is actually fused together with the ISS Voyager to keep him alive and although he is not physically conscious, his mind still works fine and he has some neural link to the ISS Voyager (probably because of the Borg enhancements). And Good Garr is taking care of him for some strange reason, helping rebuild Evil Garr's body. Reyf comes aboard and convinces Good Garr that Evil Garr needs to be stopped. Together they set the Voyager up to be destroyed, by Evil Garr regains control of his body and tries to stop him. Good Garr is killed in the fight, and Reyf engages Evil Garr in hand to hand combat (only to be beaten because of Evil Garr's enhancements.) Something happens and Reyf manages to get the Voyager in the tear and destroy it, resetting the timeline.
Your right to an opinion does not make your opinion valid.
I think the station should be destroyed by the Fitzgerald, not a Romulan fleet. Perhaps have one Romulan ship, which happened to be in the neighborhood show up with, or shortly thereafter Fitzgerald, engage the station and be destroyed in the process. Fitzgerald could then destroy the station. I would think Garr's station would be decently armed, and could probably take out a Galaxy class ship by itself. However, between the Fitzgerald and a D'deridex (sp?) warbird, it might be a more even match. It's simple, and you get to make a battle scene.
Personally I would avoid having a massive fleet battle, I think it's just overkill. Blow up a Romulan warbird, scratch the paint in a few places and perhaps even blow a hole through the saucer (homage to ST:VI) on Fitzgerald, and then blow up the station. Voyager escapes, chase begins, and then go from there.
BTW - I recently watched the combined previews you posted recently. I really like the new warp core colors, I always thought matter and antimatter should look a bit different.
Guys, just a quick headsup: the process of re-rendering everything that needed it is finished, plus one or two other minor surprises along the way. I'm assembling a new complete cut of what I have so far as we speak, as soon as it's finished I'll put it up.
Then tomorrow, work on Scene 12--note I say "scene" and not "preview clip"--will begin. To those who wonder, Scene 12 is titled "Close Call."
EDIT: well, almost everything. Just realized I totally forgot to make a "damaged" version of the Vaxis, and to fix Reyf's belt buckle in some of the early shots. Not going to hold up production for that right now, but it'll come.
Guys, just a quick headsup: the process of re-rendering everything that needed it is finished, plus one or two other minor surprises along the way. I'm assembling a new complete cut of what I have so far as we speak, as soon as it's finished I'll put it up.
Then tomorrow, work on Scene 12--note I say "scene" and not "preview clip"--will begin. To those who wonder, Scene 12 is titled "Close Call."
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Your right to an opinion does not make your opinion valid.
Guys, just a quick headsup: the process of re-rendering everything that needed it is finished, plus one or two other minor surprises along the way. I'm assembling a new complete cut of what I have so far as we speak, as soon as it's finished I'll put it up.
Oooh the first half hr of Retribution in finished form I eagerly await
- You def need a new opening credits sequence, or at least increase the amount of stars in the background, to give it that same opening feel as ST, II, III, IV, VI
- It would of been pretty cool to see the nacelles and buzzards powering up while the ship leaves space dock and the initial fly by, the ship seems very dark
- I like the new graphics and charts in the briefing
- I dont have to mention the BoP as in your early post, you said you have just forgotten to add in the damaged version lol
Overall its pretty good, you've definitely honed your craft at getting good animation results in a short amount of time
I might have spotted an error: In the breefing room, one lady says: "not to cast a pole (?) over this". She is addressed as a commander, and later as a lieutenant and mistaken for an ensign. According to this she is a lieutenant commander. She is also mistaken for an ensign, which means that she should be a Lieutenant (junior grade). So what is it?
@Dr-Timelord: still planning a more elaborate title sequence, that's something else I didn't want to hold up production on. The revised sequence won't appear until the final version of the film. (I agree with you that the one that's there doesn't have enough "umph" to it.) I did forget to fix the Bussard collectors in the departure sequence, you're right about that.
@Thy Kind: the only reason Reyf mistakes her as an ensign is because she was an ensign when we last saw her in Specter, which is why she and all the other officers grin. It's a little in-joke. Her rank is lieutenant commander, which means that Reyf is using the honorific "lieutenant" and "commander" interchangeably.
I've been watching the ideas coming forth very closely, expect to see some of them begin to appear in the coming scenes.
Posts
THere might be another interesting angle to persue: the (old) girlfriend of Garr. If the timeline is to be restored, they either need not to meet, Garr needs to die after Specter (which makes it impossible for him to help his younger self, however), or his girlfriend needs to be changed/compromised somehow. Might be interesting storytwist to find out that his girlfriend somehow fits in to all of this; that she is a 'bad-girl', and when Garr finds out that she influenced him in more than one way (and not for the better). It might give a believable way to change things back to the way it is supposed to be, and make Garr less of a badguy, or at least choose to do 1 good dead before his time or the story ends.
Somehow i dont see the black hole device stopping another singularity. If you would ask me, that would be like placing a weaponscontainter in a forrest fire (-> Big Boom).
On some sidenotes to the current story: Unless you have one hell of a weapon in the Fitzgerald, 1 ship against a station is going to be similar like a brick against a battle tank. Even with shields off, 1 ship against a station is still not an easy case.
Basically in startrek: when friendlies attack a station, it falls with general ease. When enemies attack a friendly station, it requires a fleet. If you want the Fitzgerald to destroy that station, i think it wise to have a believable way to do so. One suggestion i came up with: that modification to allow the cloaking ship to go undetected fails at a certain moment (not a cliche moment, but just a random event happening at some point in the mission), allowing for a cat and mouse game with a few persueing vessels. When the station is reached, a heavy battle ensues with the Fitzgerald and the romulan ships. Using good tactics (to be determined) 1 or more ships impact the station, momentarily disrupting the shields, allowing for something to disable the station/certain systems; or at least give it a bloody nose. If the Fitzgerald can use that to make it visible to the romulans that they have been betrayed/used by Garr, then they might summon a fleet to destroy the station (allowing for the exploding station, the escape, and possible saving of the peace
First, I've started the TVTropes page about Retribution, you can find it here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StarTrekRetribution
Second, enough people have raised the specter of the "missing" scene between Prentice ordering Mitchell to get the cloaking device and the scene in Ten Forward that I've gone ahead and made the scene, including a shot of the Fitzgerald cloaking. I'm putting together a new omnibus clip with everything thrown together, and that should be up sometime today.
To those who want to know about the visual effect of the cloak engaging:
*edit*
never mind, I just watched it lol
The plot with the cloaking device definitely plays much better with the extra scenes you have added, and also with your " Captain's log" its always a great way to pass time.
Your cloaking effect is pretty cool, I think you might need to make the green a bit more greener maybe, looks a bit mint green at the moment lol , also I think you should probably slow it down, usually any ship that is cloaking or de-cloaking take around 5 seconds roughly, if you add in a shimmering effect that would make it look better too
You're throwaway line " What do you make of this number one" makes me think back to the Intro for A Final Unity, since Picard said the same thing lol
For your scene with Reyf in ten forward, do you think you should add some people in the background shots to make it seem more lively.
It seems strange to me that on a Galaxy Class starship with a crew of roughly 1000 people, that Ten Forward would be deserted at times, Even on TNG, you would figure it would always be busy
Maybe a highlly dammaged ship (like one small Defiant) could do a kamikaze manouver in her last move, sometthing similar to what the Kelvin did over the Narada. It would make the the systems of the station to fail.
Truth be told, you can do better than that. Unless your making two random science teams the heroes of the day lol
ROFL over here. Blame the writer in me, wanting to make the scene a bit more dramatic. The two science teams saving the day would be funny though, with the crowds celebrating them and erecting statues. Maybe as a sort of alternate joke ending
If you want to include a personal solution to the story, you could have the admiral beam over to Garr's ship, include a skirmish between the two and then the admiral (who has been acting strangely since the beginning) beam whatever he had on the Fitzgerald over to the ISS Voyager, which turns out to be some device made to close the tear and restore the timeline. The only con is that the ISS Voyager has to be in the rift, killing anyone aboard and destroying the ship. Of course Prentince (pretty sure I spelt that wrong) won't like that, but he allows the admiral to do it anyways. Sort of like some ultimate sacrifice kind of thing, but it's okay since the admiral knows he'll actually be alive, although things will be different. This would be eaiser if I could see what you got for the ending, but fish sticks will be in the oven.
-Edit-
Of course you never did explain the Borg enhancments thing from the first one, so you could put something in there.
- In my head it seems like a pretty cool image, Think the excelsior at the end of St VI, pushing the engines hard, the ship is shaking and buckling "flying apart" lol, It would add some great tension
I think oldmangreg's idea is pretty cool, It would almost be a three act scene
- Voyager racing to get to the rift, Fitz giving chase
- Reyf, somehow, aboard Voyager trying to stop Garr. A skirmish of some sort
- Science probs near the rift are recording changes in the rift AND whatever Voyager is doing AND beaming the information back to the Fitz, so they are running out of time as to what Garr is up to and how to stop it
Now think of all that, happening at the same time.. and picture the music in a sort of ' Genesis Countdown ' style.
Great dramatic scene
I like the idea of a sort of show-off, but make it more advanced this time. The fitz and/or section 31/starfleet super scientists
Then, to add insult to injury, the ship's computer is reprogrammed, using some secret programming (and perhaps that ships-remote acces code that Kirk used to gain control), to alter the voyagers course and lock it (even for Garr), along with an auto-activate. When the mission is complete, Reyf, being ever so nice, gives Garr the chance to back down, and surrender. They then run though the ship to the shuttlebay, since the voyager has too big a lead, and activate some carefully prepared traps to slow Garr down (he said 'no'). You know, the starfleet equivallent of claymores, and such. They use a shuttle to escape, while Garr tries to do its best to make the timejump successfull (enter clifhanger
addition: The reason i made the voyager not running towards the BR, is that garr has the time-drive abboard this ship, so he does not need the anomaly to do anything. And since the anomaly was created using an earlier version of Garrs time drive, it can be used to reverse the effect. If Garr is just running in the general direction, it might add a cherry to the cake, allowing the fitz to both shut Garr down, and the anomaly in one go.
Maybe you could add stabilized omega molecules to the mix; since voyager did have that technology, but that is very very very very very very very risky to use on a ship which possible explodes. Might be a good weapon against an attacking fleet though..
It wouldn't be a mistake, since Reyf acting all weird since the beginning. There's a chance he could of worked with good Garr, but did not know it or did not show it. Adding section 31 this late in the game seems rather dumb though. If they were mentioned throughout the movie then maybe. A team of scientists, maybe led by good Garr, probably know how to close the tear, and they are sitting next to the tear, setting up the plan to close the tear. Maybe when the station explodes, the tear is a pre-programmed destination, so evil Garr can make a time/space/etc jump if necessary, since before he needed a singularity to do it in the first place. He got "lucky" when the Fitzgerald shot his ship and he was thrown back in time. Although, since the Borg have done time travel, and the ISS Voyager has Borg tech, that would mean he wouldn't need a singularity.
I don't think Reyf would ask Garr to back down, since he already knows the answer to that. Still need a reason why Garr got his hands on Borg tech.
Of course a plot twist can be put in: Evil Garr that we saw aboard the Fitzgerald was a hologram, because Evil Garr is actually fused together with the ISS Voyager to keep him alive and although he is not physically conscious, his mind still works fine and he has some neural link to the ISS Voyager (probably because of the Borg enhancements). And Good Garr is taking care of him for some strange reason, helping rebuild Evil Garr's body. Reyf comes aboard and convinces Good Garr that Evil Garr needs to be stopped. Together they set the Voyager up to be destroyed, by Evil Garr regains control of his body and tries to stop him. Good Garr is killed in the fight, and Reyf engages Evil Garr in hand to hand combat (only to be beaten because of Evil Garr's enhancements.) Something happens and Reyf manages to get the Voyager in the tear and destroy it, resetting the timeline.
Personally I would avoid having a massive fleet battle, I think it's just overkill. Blow up a Romulan warbird, scratch the paint in a few places and perhaps even blow a hole through the saucer (homage to ST:VI) on Fitzgerald, and then blow up the station. Voyager escapes, chase begins, and then go from there.
BTW - I recently watched the combined previews you posted recently. I really like the new warp core colors, I always thought matter and antimatter should look a bit different.
Then tomorrow, work on Scene 12--note I say "scene" and not "preview clip"--will begin. To those who wonder, Scene 12 is titled "Close Call."
EDIT: well, almost everything. Just realized I totally forgot to make a "damaged" version of the Vaxis, and to fix Reyf's belt buckle in some of the early shots. Not going to hold up production for that right now, but it'll come.
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Oooh the first half hr of Retribution in finished form
*edit*
- You def need a new opening credits sequence, or at least increase the amount of stars in the background, to give it that same opening feel as ST, II, III, IV, VI
- It would of been pretty cool to see the nacelles and buzzards powering up while the ship leaves space dock and the initial fly by, the ship seems very dark
- I like the new graphics and charts in the briefing
- I dont have to mention the BoP as in your early post, you said you have just forgotten to add in the damaged version lol
Overall its pretty good, you've definitely honed your craft at getting good animation results in a short amount of time
@Thy Kind: the only reason Reyf mistakes her as an ensign is because she was an ensign when we last saw her in Specter, which is why she and all the other officers grin. It's a little in-joke. Her rank is lieutenant commander, which means that Reyf is using the honorific "lieutenant" and "commander" interchangeably.
I've been watching the ideas coming forth very closely, expect to see some of them begin to appear in the coming scenes.