I think you need to spend some more time working on the damage, selecting a bunch of polys and deleting them doesn't really look like damage, it looks just like a bunch of deleted polys.
Try modelling the damaged portions of the ship and creating some custom maps for the damaged area. Creating some interior damage as well will add to the realism.
I would suggest looking at Star Trek III and the Voyager episode "Year of Hell" and "Equinox pt. II" for good references when you build out your damaged sections. Also, it kinda has a video game feel to it... I think it may be a lighting issue.
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Try modelling the damaged portions of the ship and creating some custom maps for the damaged area. Creating some interior damage as well will add to the realism.
I can't really give you any tips without knowing which software you're using.